Is it fair to take advantage of someone’s love?

Is it fair to take advantage of someone’s love?

Love is not an emotion, per se, but through a variety of emotions converging, the expression of love is created. For a basic understanding of the creation of love, Robert Plutchik’s wheel of emotion (check it out on Wiki) states love as the result of Joy and Trust. Simple as it sounds, the result of this can create complex situations that can potentially trigger off any of the other basic emotions.

Not all feelings are pleasant, often confusing and can mutate from one extreme to another. This abundance in variety makes us uniquely human, but… some choose to use this, ‘subconsciously’ or ‘consciously’ to gain a feeling of self gratification from another’s emotional misfortune.

This is where emotional love comes into play. Differentiating emotional love from physical love is confusing at best, one can sometimes be lost as to where one starts and the other ends. A combination of both can bring true joy to oneself, only if there is a return in kind from whom we seek.

When you feel fear, you do not easily convince yourself that it is someone else that it is happening to. The same goes for love (and even happiness). They are beyond the physical level, within you that no one else can feel for you. Emotions can be controlled to a certain extent, but love… even for the masters of emotions this is one that will ultimately beat the majority. It can be bottled up, preserved, hidden to the core, but not turned off.

So what for the person who is loved. He or she who accepts the feeling of being wanted by someone in turn to try to boost their own well being. A short feeling of gratification may come from this, but a feeling of well being doesn’t. What really comes is a modern day ego boost which only has a temporary lasting on the mind. Modern day fast paced society tempts us into feeding our desires and wants rather than what is right or wrong. If moral science played a part (unfortunately it doesn’t in this case) then each party could walkaway morally correct and pain free.

For the person who subconsciously takes advantage for their own gain can be forgiven for their misunderstanding between physical and emotional love. To distinguish between the boundaries is a fine line. Though for the person taking advantage consciously, this has the effect of destroying their own character to which they have no excuse if they despise who they become. To take a moment and step out their own ego and into the others shoe, a vision of the negative perspective can be seen. But feel it, they won’t; unless they have experienced it in the past. From here they have a choice to continue or not.

I am by no means an expert on love, the content of the article doesn’t state this. Nor can I say that I am the master of emotion; only a trainee :)
But from the context of this article I have learned one thing, that riding on the wave of anothers feeling can’t be true to what we should be wired to do. But in essence we are. It doesn’t mean you can’t change; easily said I know, an even harder act to follow.

Jay Karsandas is a freelance designer in web, SEO, print and social media and writes about design, inspiration & philosohy. Also co-founder of gadgets and tech site mwoblog, while you can find him over at e2 community where he acts as author and webmaster.


  1. Saff421

    May 8th, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    It’s sick to take someone for a ride but everyone does it one point in their lives. As you say it’s kind of built within us.

    I’ve had it done to me and I must admit I have done it to someone else. I like how you have broken it done into the conscious and subconscious it helps to understand it if it comes to my attention again.

    Love is love. Maybe we’ll never understand it how much we try.

  2. Jay

    May 8th, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Hey Saff

    Yes love is love. It defies all logic and theory!

    Though we can make a conscious decision to not lead someone on. And if you choose to do so… go on you!

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